The Fastest Thing

 

A Filipino Applies for a Job at Wal-Mart.

An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack
of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino.

 
He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine who of them would get the job.  The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know?"

Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head.  There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.
"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir , the Russian.

"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's
a very popular cliche for speed."
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the
house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of
light" he said.

Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man,
the interviewer posed the same question.

Eleuterio replied, "Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thing is Diarrhea."

"WHAT??!" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats...

"Oh, I can expleyn sir,." said Eleuterio. " You see, sir, da ader
day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the CR, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, 'tang ina, sir, I had alreydi shit in my pants!"


Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart.